Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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