would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
