Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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