I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
