I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
