They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
