its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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