i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its not stalking. its research.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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