I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Panties = found
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