sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
