You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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