I think im going to throw up on grandma
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
