Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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