Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
