i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
