put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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