She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
