I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize