why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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