DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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