dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
