Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
