Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
