I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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