How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
