I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
