From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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