Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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