Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
