i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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