She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
