My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
