Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it glows. i had to have it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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