M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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