kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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