Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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