FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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