I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize