3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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