I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she looked like the before picture.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
