i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
