we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
