Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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(630): View more from Illinois

I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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(917): View more from New York City

pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock

(347): View more from New York

I THOUGHT I SAW YOU

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(510): View more from California

After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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(360): View more from Washington

if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night

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(605): View more from South Dakota

If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.

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