Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
