The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
