It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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