it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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