I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
