$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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