i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
false alarm. still invincible.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this just has baby written all over it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
