She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
