i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
