did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize