I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
