can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
