Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
