im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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