There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
and you fell through a lawn chair
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
