I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
