Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
