and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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