All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
