Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize