So drunk its hurt
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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