alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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