Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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